100 Happy days 41 - 50

Day 41
7 July
A hint of colour at last.
First {first flower}
After several attempts and defying slugs and other scavenging creatures, the plants are beginning to flower in my Belfast sink.

Day 42
8 July
#100HappyDays Sharing my stupidity with the world and hearing funnier stories in return.
42/100

Day 43
9 July
I am a novice and so it took a long time, but, I think I have finished editing the soundtrack for my class' entry in the school talent show. 'Happy' and 'I love my shirt'. And relax.

Day 44
10 July
#100happydays 44/100 Seeing the beautiful poppies grown in remembrance of WW1

Day 45
11 July
I was tagged in, then shared Michelle Goodwin's photo: It's hard to explain how and why this had us in stitches tonight but there's nothing better than a fit of giggles with a friend xx

Day 46
12 July
Thank you for a lovely afternoon tea with lovely people.‪#‎100HappyDays‬ 
Happy birthday Sheena! 

Day 47
13 July
Apple crumble and custard? Don't mind if I do! Thanks Dots xx

Day 48
14 July
My photo was selected for the daily collage on the photoaday challenge again. ‪#‎100HappyDays‬

Day 49
15 July
Things children say...
Ok, so this is a blatant bid to turn around my day and make it my ‪#‎100happydays‬ entry - if these stories make any of you happy in my anguish, that will work for me.
Two children were not all that tactful today.
Child 1 - in a voice full of shock and surprise, and a tad of concern: Mrs Harper what are you doing? How are you doing that? Old people can't sit on the floor with their legs crossed!

Child 2: Mrs Harper are you having a baby, because if you are you need to go to hospital!
{Do I look as if I am about to have a baby?} 
Child 2: Yes.

Day 50
16 July
#100happydays the buzz of bees around the flowers in my garden

100 Happy Days 31 - 40

Day 31
27 June
I'm not sure my supply class this week is actually normal. This is how they arrived in the room this morning, the teachers were all really welcoming too. What a lovely school.

Day 32

28 June

Madeline
Transported back to my childhood summers, when I used to read a much earlier edition - hardback and with a torn dust cover, in my grandmother's house.
Nick bought this one for my birthday purely because of the illustrations.

Day 33
29 June
A bit of light relief from the world cup, and an antidote to the last film I watched with my daughter (My Sister's Keeper), tonight we watched 'Alvin and the Chipmunks'. I definitely enjoyed it more than I should have done.

Day 34
30 June
I bought myself some marbles, I am now looking forward to using them in photos n stuff
#100happydays 34/100

Day 35
1 July
Working, for a couple of weeks, close to home -  so my entry for #100happyDays today is, walking home from work in the sunshine. 35/100

Day 36
2 July
It's been too long ‪#‎100happydays‬ ‪#‎chocolate‬ ‪#‎flake‬

Day 37
3 July
The flowers in my front garden haven't been demolished by the slugs as they have in the back. Finally the flowers are starting to bloom - and I never knew that poppies came in pink!

Day 38
4 July

My freaky photo was selected to be in a 'terrific 12'
And has had about 500 likes.
Aaanndd I was in good company! (Sandie Riley is a facebook friend)
‪#‎100happydays‬

Day 39

5 July
What's not to love
More chocolate covered strawberries ‪#‎100happydays‬

Day 40
6 July
Meeting up with uni friends Jo and Lucy - 25 years on!

18, 19, 20, 21, 22 / 100 Happy days

I enjoyed five minutes of sun in the garden when I got in, had a little mow of my little lawn and then made my own rainbow as I watered my poor little plants.
22/100

A couple of weeks ago I did a quick pastel sketch to make a cover for a class book for a class I was teaching. I went back to that school yesterday to find the year group had used it as a basis for their first art lesson of the year. Happy children, happy me!
21/100

My little boy is back from camp.
(Download is like scout camp, right?)
20/100














I defy anyone to find a town with prettier roundabouts than Hemel, enjoying the simple things
19/100

 
 

My photobook arrived today (of our holiday in Italy last year). It's been lovely looking back. 18/100

17/100 Happy Days

Another sunny day in beautiful Hemel Hempstead

16/100 Happy Days

I completed my tax return and have nothing to pay (well, a pound, which they will take by PAYE).
The deadline isn't until the end of January 2015, so I am ahead of the game for once.

13/100 Happy Days

Sometimes it's the most simple things that give you satisfaction. Like pulling up a dandelion and all its root.

10/100 Happy Days

This term I have started supply teaching. I cannot express how wonderful it is to get to the weekend and have THIS much planning and preparation and assessment to do for next week!

9/100 Happy Days

 I had half an hour in the breezy sunshine on the common to sit and relax, it was bliss!

3/100 Happy Days

A bonus dance session even though it is half term. Lovely to get together with these dance friends who I don't see very often these days - and lovely to dance too, of course.

I've posted the pic despite my amazingly huge hair - I blame the weather.

1/100 happy days

Yesterday I had arranged to meet Leanne, an ex-colleague, for a coffee, it was so lovely chatting non-stop and catching up. 
But I hadn't planned to bump into an ex-colleague for a quick chat and I hadn't planned to call in at another friend I hadn't seen for a while, but I did - and we had a few adventures, ending up in Shepherds Bush Empire.... I'm still singing House Martins and Beautiful South songs this morning.
AND I got bonus cygnet photos in the park.

Martin Luther king Day, 16th January 2012

“Those not looking for happiness are most likely to find it...those searching forget that happy is to seek happiness for others.” -MLK Jr.

Today's mitzvah - taking time out for someone else

This morning I made sure I had time for a proper conversation two men from the drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre who came to my church this morning.
They are lovely men and I benefited from the chat, which was about photography as it turns out it is something one of them is quite knowledgeable about.
So, I wonder if it was a mitvah after all?

Maybe doing the sunday school class when I am feeling swamped with studies counts!

Pay it forward

This morning I got a voucher for £3.05 off my next shop (part of a brand price match promotion) - I gave to someone on his way into the shop. It took him a moment or two to understand that it was a simple no strings attached offer.



He was thankful, and I was happy.

What makes me happy?

What is happiness and how can you become happy?
Is it the absence of want?
Is it contentment?
Doing something you love?
Being absorbed?
Creativity?
People often know what they don't want, they have got to know their problems and dislikes very well but don't know what they do want. With nothing positive to aim for it is all too easy to get stuck in the misery of what is wrong and see happiness as something lost or only for others.

Things I love make me happy
thinking about things I love makes me happy

Sun, sand, waves
Woodland, meadows, birdsong
land art, baking, painting, drawing
camping, dancing, spinning poi
parties, friends, family
learning new things
gratitude, fun, joy, awe and wonder

Developments at Positive Change Now

I have had several requests for workshops and downloadable material, so...
coming soon... there will be a series of public workshops.

The first two will be:

'Secrets of Stress-Free People'
introducing the concepts of stress:
what stress actually is,
how it is manifested mentally and physically,
how to deal with the symptoms of stress,
how to manage stressful situations
how to identify your personal stressors

'Learn to Relax'
An interactive and practical session. You will learn:
effective breathing techniques to relax your mind
how to relax your body
how to use visualisation to rest, recuperate and feel refreshed anywhere.

They will be in February in Hemel Hempstead - details to follow.

In the pipeline:
'Secrets of Slim People'
'From Procrastination to Motivation'
'How to be Happy'

Please contact me for more information

Why happiness is like sleep

If you follow my advice in an earlier post you will be writing a gratitude diary. By looking for anything positive outside of yourself - in others and in your environment your mindset will change for the better.

Many people say they just want to be happy and they search for 'happiness'.
Happiness is a little like sleep.
You may crave sleep, you may feel deprived of sleep, you do all you can to get sleep you make the environment suitable, you prepare your mind and your body for sleep but when sleep comes you are not aware you are experiencing it. When you wake, however, and have had a restful night you know this and you feel refreshed.

Seeking happiness as an entity in itself just won't work, there are certain factors which must be in place for happiness to happen. According to leading psychologist Martin Seligman, in order to be happy you need a mixture of three elements:

- Be happy about the past
Nurture positive emotions associated with the past. Look for these emotions in your memories - satisfaction, contentment, pride, serenity.
If this is hard for you, with timeline therapy, EFT, NLP and Hypnosis negative emotions can be released from painful memories, phobias and trauma and you can be shown how to add positive emotions in other areas.


- Be happy about the future
Create compelling goals for your future.
Nurture positive emotions of optimism, hope, confidence, trust and faith.
As for your past memories, events in your future can be seen as 'future memories' and treated in the same way.

- Be happy about the present
In the present happiness comes in two ways: pleasures and gratifications

Pleasures - things that give short bursts of pleasure like buying a treat, eating chocolate
They can be bodily and are momentary, sensory, subjective 'scrumptious'
Or they can be higher, more complex and learned but still momentary - offering bliss, thrills, excitement, fun, comfort and relaxation.

Now, these should be savoured as the pleasures are not long lasting and cannot be relied upon, or the temporary burst of pleasure will be sought over and over again with diminishing returns of pleasure. This spiral of behaviour can become compulsive, produce cravings and withdrawal symptoms, leading to addictive behaviour in anything from watching TV, browsing the internet, to shopping, eating, smoking, drug taking, gambling and even exercising. Addiction and all compulsive behaviours begin when certain emotional needs are not being met and can be 'busted' given the right help.

Gratifications - achieved through activities rather than feelings: rock climbing, reading, dance, good conversation.
Gratifications are activities that are absorbing., your self-consciousness id blocked and you actually feel no emotion while you are engaged in the activity, time flies by.
This state is called 'flow'.
Looking back at the activity you may think, 'Wow!' and feel positive emotions as you reflect on what you have done, while using and developing your personal strengths and resources.

Using your strengths in your life and work, recrafting your roles in both if necessary; ideally in the service of something larger than yourself and savouring the positive feelings from pleasures is how you can derive abundant gratification and authentic happiness.

How to make your children happy! Part 1: Praise

Give your child 100% unconditional positive regard will make them happy
err no!
Constant unmittigated praise is as likely to produce insecure emotionally unhealthy individuals as constant criticism.
Persistant praise makes for a passive child. Why bother when you'll be praised all the time whatever you do or don't do? however well or pooorly you have performed?
Why listen to your parents when you really need praise (or an opinion) when your parent appears to not be capable of making a judgement or holding a valid opinion?
A child cannot learn from failures or successes in that environment.

100% unconditional love warmth and affection - that's another matter...
We all need that! And an environment of positive emotion will produce a secure individual.

Conditional praise, praise that fits the circumstance or achievement, may lead to disappointment sometimes but means your children don't become helpless. They learn their actions have an impact on themselves and others and you, as a parent, have credibility.