3/100 Happy Days

A bonus dance session even though it is half term. Lovely to get together with these dance friends who I don't see very often these days - and lovely to dance too, of course.

I've posted the pic despite my amazingly huge hair - I blame the weather.

2/100 Happy Days

It's half term, I am a teacher and yesterday I got together with my friends who also work in schools.
How lovely to have time out to bake and relax with friends while putting the world to rights.
Here are my triple chocolate brownies. Happy days indeed.

1/100 happy days

Yesterday I had arranged to meet Leanne, an ex-colleague, for a coffee, it was so lovely chatting non-stop and catching up. 
But I hadn't planned to bump into an ex-colleague for a quick chat and I hadn't planned to call in at another friend I hadn't seen for a while, but I did - and we had a few adventures, ending up in Shepherds Bush Empire.... I'm still singing House Martins and Beautiful South songs this morning.
AND I got bonus cygnet photos in the park.

Hypocrisy

Seek for congruence in your words and deeds.
Can you be happy amd at peace with yourself and others if there is a tug of war between your image of yourself (what you tell yourself and others), and the proof of yourself, your values and beliefs, in your actions?

I hate it when I realise I have been hypocritical, and I take steps to sort it out.
It bothers me when others are.
It really annoys me when they don't see it in themselves even when challenged. (I should work on this!)
There should be no difference in the rules for one person than another.

Let someone go first

Yesterday I was heading for a doorway, saw someone coming and stood back. The other person however ushered me through. I looked back for my son who was letting them in before he came out.
However trivial this sounds we all had smiles on our faces. A small moment of shared kindness and friendliness was a small oasis in a busy day.

Happiness

I want to share this a Tweet with you: "GreatestQuotes: "I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others." - Booker T. Washington" --http://twitter.com/GreatestQuotes/status/189730171572592640

I shall keep going with this kindness lark!

Kindness, Love and Monopoly

During the Easter weekend I played monopoly with my 2 younger children. Not my first choice of game as I remember,  but my children seem to forget, the inevitable rollercoaster of emotion and dispute.
100 Mitzvahs suggested this morning that playing a game, especially one you don't like, is a kindness - I'll add it my list then!

Again, I find myself reflecting on what kindness is. These kinds of kind acts are surely what we SHOULD be doing.



It seemed unnecessary to blog that I had had some fun with my children (they love the experience of extremes of emotion, it must be cathartic).

Kindness is not usually a conscious goal but a general state of being, looking after other people's happiness and needs as well as your own.
Blogging these things reminds me that acts of kindness are a constant expression of the love in our lives we share with the world.

Collect supermarket vouchers for schools

Even if you don't have children at school you must know someone who has school aged children - or at least live near a school.
When you are asked at the checkout "are you collecting vouchers?", please say yes!
I have children at secondary school but also have links my local primary. At church this morning I gave a pile of vouchers to two young brothers - they were delighted. Each class is in competition to bring in the most.
The vouchers school gather really do make a difference to the amount of sports equipment they can buy - please say "yes" too!

The school will be happy, the children you give the vouchers to will be happy and I'm sure Sainsbury's will be delighted to give away as much stuff as possible!

Link to Sainsburys Active Kids

Thank goodness for wifi

I've been laid up with pleurisy. Its hard to go out in the world and practice acts of kindness on strangers whilst in bed!
So with my smart phone I found some local news and a saw a friends son was achieving great things and I sent my congratulations.

Spread some holiday cheer

Due to illness our Easter visitors didn't come. What to do with all the eggs I bought for them?
I have three children, they could easily manage another egg or two each but it seemed wrong. We bought the eggs to give away.
So my Good Friday RAK / mitzvah was to arrange for friends to pass them to our local drug and alcohol rehab residential centre.

Let someone out in traffic

Yesterday I did quite a few little trips around town and let out people waiting at side roads  whenever I could. It's so easy, so quick and makes no difference to my total journey time - but could make quite a difference to theirs.

And you may even get a smile in return!

Wednesday

Wednesday is always a strange day in the week - it's so far from a weekend isn't it!
This week even more so for me as I missed last weekend as I had five very intensive days on campus from Friday til yesterday. I, like my fellow students, am shattered. My children have been lovely and for three days each cooked tea for the family, for which I am very grateful indeed.

Wednesday - it's not only a long way from the weekends but today is cold, wet and windy. There are muddy puddles everywhere. The poor car drivers seem unable to avoid them as the huge brown waves break over us poor pedestrians.

So where is the kindness today?
Well, yesterday I made a point of complimenting the sandwich guy in his lovely falafel. (Now that sounds a bit more weird than it did in my head!)
Today... I think this counts: I made small talk with the exam invigilator who has the most boring job in the world. I took three skills tests today and in between we had some nice chats. I hope that made his day a bit more interesting - in turn I did feel less nervous, but he definitely was desperate to talk to someone!
It's time to change how we think about Wednesdays - after lunchtime the weekend is getting closer isn't it!

Here's a little something to make you smile...



- Myspace Layouts,Graphics, and Comments!

Make other people feel good about themselves

Making people feel good about themselves is an act of kindness - a mitzvah.
This can be achieved in many ways, some are deliberate, others may be accidental - and could be nurtured if you recognise them.
Let someone help you - asking someone's advice; accepting help - it's not a sign of weakness, it's not dis-empowering - it can be simply sharing a skill or piece of information.
If you feel uncomfortable accepting help, think about the intention behind the offer, maybe you should consider your own motivations.
When you help someone are you exercising power over them? does it make you feel superior?

Compliment someone - if they have made an interesting contribution to a a class discussion or workshop, tell them. If they look particularly good one day, tell them.


Notice the quiet person - If someone is working away in the background - take time to notice what they do and thank them.

Tell someone they have inspired and influenced you - don't keep this information to yourself!

Talk about someone behind their back! Tell a mutual friend, acquaintance or colleague about something good someone else has done - it may may filter back to them - or even their boss.


I've done all of these since my last post - some deliberately, some I realised upon reflection.
Sometimes I think I make people feel good about themselves just by being ridiculous myself and in comparison they know they are better than me!

Feed the birds

As suggested by St Alban's Diocese: 'Live the challenge'

Feed the birds, treasure God's creation.
As you feed the birds watch them and take time to wonder at the beauty of what is around us. The more we wonder and appreciate the wonder of what is around us, the more we will take care of it - and enrich our own lives.

Congratulations!

When someone does well, or has some good news, congratulate them!
Don't take it as read that you are happy for them or that you are proud.

• Two of my children took part in Rock Challenge (http://www.rockchallenge.co.uk/) I encouraged them because it is great organisation and convinced them they would only have a drama role and wouldn't have to dance. However it transpired that they did have to dance - and both stuck with it and did really well. I didn't think I'd ever see my son dance - and dance well. What a lovely moment and what a great revelation to all of us! I'm so proud of both of them for stretching themselves and being open to trying new things.

• My friend is getting married - hurrah! and has invited me - Hurrah! Congratulations were sent!
• And a new friend, a fellow student, has just got an 'outstanding distinction' for her assignment. It puts my 'very good' in the shade somewhat(!) but I am genuinely really, really happy for her. Congratulations were sent!

Lenten Mitzvahs

Does this concept work? Or is it #that-awkward-moment-when-two-religions-meet?

Many people see Lent as purely a time of giving things up. Jesus went to the desert for 40 days for a period of reflection, contemplation and meditation prior to taking up his ministry. During this time he was also tempted by the devil.
For Christians giving things up in Lent is part of a bigger goal of preparation for Easter and is an opportunity to overcome faults, exercise self discipline and spend more time doing religious acts.
A real season for Christians to think 'WWJD'. I shall bear this in mind as I try and cope with my Lenten Facebook fast.

How are my daily mitzvahs going?

I visited my old workplace today as part of my course and was lucky enough to observe 5 lessons as well as see school life from the perspective of a year 7 - I've been able to 'magpie' a couple of lesson ideas - and thanked the teachers for allowing me to observe them.

I also gave a little 'I miss you present' to a member of the support staff.

At the end of the day some of the girls found a frog outside the PE department and I organised some year 13 boys to move it to a safer place - I did have to reassure them that it wouldn't bite them first!
So you say that was two kindnesses in one. The frog was protected and these hulking young men have found there is no reason to be afraid of a frog!

Share opportunities

I am a student teacher, today I went to a school's open morning as part of the application process. I told another student on my course about the vacancy and gave her a lift to the open morning as she doesn't drive.
Some people may question my sanity, but I firmly believe that the school know who they are looking for and it's up to them to choose between us - and the other candidates, not me.
We both loved the school, so two application forms are about to be written. I'll draw the line at helping her with her form though!

Kindness begets Kindness

I am encouraging my Sunday School group to do a random act of kindness every day in Lent.

This is my kindness to them - they will feel for themselves the kindness they deliver to others.

When in London...

On Saturday I went to a workshop in London - loads of potential for mitzvahs and random acts of kindness here!
Here are some examples -
Giving directions, in this case, it was to McDonalds when I was in Trafalgar Square, no accounting for taste!
Taking photos for tourists. If you see a couple taking photos offer to take a photo with both in it.
Offering a seat on the train or bus.
Buying an extra item of food for a homeless person (depending on your budget this could be a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar, a sandwich or a whole meal)

In a workshop or seminar freely share your ideas and encourage others.
Give honest feedback to the presenters, and thank them.

Random acts of kindness week

I've been encouraging people on facebook to join in. So far...Monday: give a smile, get a smile. Tuesday: tell someone you care about why they are important to you. Wednesday: forgive someone.
And I've been following my advice :-)
I've also spent time with, or talking on the phone to, friends who needed a friend / sounding board.

Thinking of others

It's like being a brownie again, doing a good turn every day.

I took my son to the airport, and eben woke him up when he slept through his alarm - the deal was I would take him but he was responsible for dragging me out of bed at 5am.

My dad had a heart procedure yesterday following surgery in the summer. My friend's mum has had similar surgery and I msg her with words of encouragement (- but not enough.)

A week of mini mitzvahs

Monday, I took in a parcel for a neighbour.
Tuesday, I helped a supply teacher with her class
Wednesday, I told my neighbour about the parcel(!), and gave away another money off voucher.
Thursday, I wrote to a head teacher in praise of a group of his pupils and two teachers, I saw at an event outside of school.
Friday, I made brownies and flapjacks to share at a training day - and ran to the shops for supplies.
Today I will walk through the sub zero temperatures to collect a parcel for my daughter from the PO - I'll take my camera in the hope it will be a pretty walk.

A mitzvah catch up!

I've been really busy but here are some little things I've been doing along the way:
I've been offering lifts, sharing job alerts with potential 'competition', offering a shoulder to cry on, saying thank you with chocolates, giving a free haircut (not sure anyone would pay me, did save the cost of one at a salon), emptied the dishwasher - AGAIN! and I got my friend's book in the school library.
... that's it for now!

Ice cream or cup cakes?

Ice cream or cupcakes?

Follow the link to see the simple culinary wonder of cupcakes in the guise of little ice creams.
Today's mitzvah is to share this wonder with you!

Helping someone you don't know

I was asked to talk to someone who is considering a change of career about my experiences on the PGCE.
We spoke for nearly half an hour and she was pleased to have the opportunity to discuss a whole set of questions.
It was good for me too, in the midst of assignment writing, to remind myself why I am doing this!

Thank you!

I've had a lot of support and advice from people in the last few days as I have been wrestling with and assignment, my family, my children, friends of friends, ex-work colleagues, peers... it's like an Oscar's acceptance speech.
I have thanked everyone along the way - I am truely grateful to all of them.

Welcome a new neighbour

Today my mitzvah was to knock on the door of a new neighbour and just say hello. The new neighbours are lovely and it was a pleasure to meet them. They were pleased to have a visitor too. Win win!

Time flies

I've been so busy this week, barely come up for air, but in the middle of all that I've been keeping mitzvahs in my awareness and many very small acts of gratitude, and cheery smiles have been meted out!

Praise where praise is due

Today I had to review my mentor's performance during my school placement. It's been a tough few weeks and I haven't found it easy. My mentor has from day one told it like it is. She has been completely fair in her assessment of me (not easy to do!) and has tried hard to make sure that I have been able to do what I needed to do.
What more could she do? especially on top of all her other work. So I gave her practically 'top marks' - and told her why.
I have never been made to feel in the way - when I know I must have been, just by being there interrupting her routine. In fact I have felt very welcome and at home in her class and for that I am grateful.

Martin Luther king Day, 16th January 2012

“Those not looking for happiness are most likely to find it...those searching forget that happy is to seek happiness for others.” -MLK Jr.

Today's mitzvah - taking time out for someone else

This morning I made sure I had time for a proper conversation two men from the drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre who came to my church this morning.
They are lovely men and I benefited from the chat, which was about photography as it turns out it is something one of them is quite knowledgeable about.
So, I wonder if it was a mitvah after all?

Maybe doing the sunday school class when I am feeling swamped with studies counts!

Yesterday's mitzvah - help promote a friend

 Yesterday I went to my local Waterstone's bookshop to ask if they had my friend's book on their shelf. They don't yet and the man said he would chase it up and got straight on the phone to the publishers :-)
Dave has been in himself, obviously, but every little helps.
And it gave me a reason to call my friend Jane (Mrs Dave).

Pay it forward

This morning I got a voucher for £3.05 off my next shop (part of a brand price match promotion) - I gave to someone on his way into the shop. It took him a moment or two to understand that it was a simple no strings attached offer.



He was thankful, and I was happy.

Mitzvahs are easy and cheer me up when I'm stressed!

I feel as if I am sinking under my studies and uncertainties over how well I am fulfilling my requirements... I took two minutes out yesterday to tell the facebook world that my friend's first book is published, printed and in the shops (also available on Amazon: Fifteen Days Without a Head, by Dave Cousins)
Today the happiest of news reached me of an engagement between two of the loveliest people. All I did was send congratulations with a true message of how lovely they are and I'm told I'm kind. Well It was my pleasure!

Sharing

Today I passed on details of services that I knew about to people who I know would benefit of be interested in.

Thank you!

Today I made sure I thanked everyone for things they did for me. Lots of very small acknowledgements of what other people have done for me, sometimes without thinking about it themselves.

Hugs and compliments

I gave virtual hugs via facebook to a friend who was feeling down; a real one to a neighbour who I had just seen being road-bullied (innocent victim of road rage) and my daughter who had gone to school not feeling well and then spent half an hour locked, cold and wet, outside the house at the end of the day because she had no key, only to find her brother had been home the whole time.

I collected my son from a rehearsal and saw him dance for the first time and he was really good so it was my pleasure to tell him how impressed I was.

A mitzvah for myself!

I took about 20 photos, here a few favourites.

Yesterday I was kind to myself - does that count?


I was feeling overloaded and when the sun came out I desperately wanted to go out in it even though I had a mountain of work to do and a fast approaching deadline.
If it had been anyone else I knew my advice would be that an hour away from the computer and desk would result in a clear head and greater productivity later.
I went of a lovely walk, took some photographs and felt sated.
So my mitzvah to myself blew away cobwebs, let me appreciate the beauty around me. My mitvah to you is follow my lead and take some time doing something good for your souls - get beck in touch with the version of yourself you identify with.
* pay it forward!  *

 

As I walked home through the church yard I noticed something I knew I should talk to someone about.
It was a hard decision but hopefully the right one.

(update, few days later: still don't know if it was the right thing - but done with best intentions.)




Today, on an entirely different level, I tip-toed around the house as I left for school trying not to disturb my own children who don't go back until tomorrow. We all like a lie-in!
And despite them being 11 and 14 (and therefore quite capable in the kitchen) I am going to cook tea without any hint of martyrdom!

My teacher mentor was run off her feet so I collected the class for her after lunch. No skin off my nose but it gave her another five minutes elbow room.

New Years Day 2012

Today I thanked my friend for hosting a NYE party and a number of friends who asked after my poorly daughter.

I can't help thinking that this kindness thing so far is just documenting things I do anyway - and isn't it the minimum of how we should be?Perhaps in time being aware of doing them will increase my positive self image?

Perhaps I should try harder!

For more inspiration, here's some information and a link to "1000 Mitzvah's" the story of another woman's kindness project.

link to: 1000 mitzvahs

Mitzvah (Hebrew: מצווה, IPA: [ˈmɪtsvə], “commandment”; plural,mitzvot; from צוה, tzavah, “command”) is a word used in Judaism to refer to (a) the commandments, of which there are 613, given in the Torah (the first five books of the Hebrew Bible) or (b) any Jewish law at all. The term can also refer to the fulfilment of a mitzvah as defined above.

The term mitzvah has also come to express any act of human kindness, such as the burial of the body of an unknown person. According to the teachings of Judaism, all moral laws are, or are derived from, divine commandments.

Mitzvah Ideas

Here are some ideas to get you started on your own mitzvah/kindness efforts:

Make a meal for a new mom

Volunteer at a soup kitchen

Donate children’s clothing to a local shelter

Donate centerpieces or flowers from an event to a hospital

Hold the door for someone

Send a gratitude card

Send a condolence card

Visit a shiva house (house of mourning)

Volunteer at school

Bake some cookies or a meal for a new neighbor

Compliment someone

Tip the housekeeper

Let someone’s employee know they did a great job

Surprise someone with flowers

Donate Blood

Donate money in honor or memory of someone

Visit a nursing home or senior center with your kids

Parents With Tweenage/Teen Children: 

Have your kids run a Lemonade Stand, Bake Sale or Car Wash. Give the proceeds to their favorite charity. If you let the organization know that you will personally deliver the donation maybe they will shake their hand or at least publicly acknowledge their efforts.

Collect outgrown coats, toys, books and donate them appropriately.

Volunteer to deliver meals on wheels, pass out charity cards for a non-profit.

Collect partially used gift cards (www.giftcardgiver.com) to give back to a non-profit.

Mentor younger children in something.

Offer babysitting services for a single parent.

Take a family volunteering vacation.

Seniors 

Volunteer in a school reading program.

Become a foster grandparent.

Become an ESL language teacher.

Arrange a fundraiser.

Work at a school cafeteria.

Volunteer to work with animals.

Acts of Kindness

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I gave someone a lift today to save them from walking home through the horrible weather.

Mitzvahs: what I have learned already

It is not possible to produce random acts of kindness when you are solitary.
Time to leave the books and housework behind and get out into the world!

Mitzvahs

I am currently training to be a teacher and that is why this blog has gone quiet. I have, decided to use the blog to record my efforts as I seek out ways to practice kindness towards others.
In the Jewish community I think this is called a mitzvah. In secular society the random acts of kindness foundation and Danny Wallace's JoinMe advocate similar things. Being kind and showing love to your neighbour is a familiar Christian concept.
Apparently this change in behaviour will have a positive impact on me too. So to help others, and recieve the gift of giving, this is my new years resolution: to actively and consciously do at least one act of kindness a day.
Don't get me wrong - I don't consider myself 'unkind', but there's always room for improvement!
 I will post when I have time and remember.

As a starter I have found the local supermarket a great source of potential recipients, from the old lady who can't find the pudding rice and chasing after her when I found it; to giving money off coupons from the tills to shoppers I pass on my way out of the shop. I expect some mitzvahs will become regular but I shall try to find new ones too.

Discipline and self control

here's a great quote, via Valorie Burton, about discipline and self-control: "Stop trying to control everyone else and just focus on controlling yourself." - Joyce Meyer
It sits well with one of my favourite quotes from Ghandi, "Be the change you want to see in the world"

Don't talk your self out of success!

‎'You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take' Wayne Gretzky
Take that risk, accept that challenge! If it doesn't come off first time, work out why and use a different strategy next time. Remind yourself how you will benefit from successfully taking the shot - what differences will you see? how will good you feel?

New Year Resolutions - Made to be broken?

As a new year approaches our thoughts turn to resolutions - often with dread. There are things about ourselves we don't like and we beat ourselves up over them. We remember so well the promises we made to ourselves in the past; repeatedly breaking the same promises of losing weight, getting fitter and healthier, successful and wealthier.

It's clearly a sign of madness to repeat the same action and expect a different outcome.

Here's my suggestion to you -

Stop using new year resolutions as a way to punish yourself and choose reward yourself instead.

Choose ONE thing and do it well.

Do something NEW.

Here's a list of 'P' words to help you along.

PERSONAL - your resolution should be self motivated, not something you are doing for or because of someone else. (Wii fit thinks I should lose a stone, I think my weight is OK, not perfect but OK!). Likewise, your motivation needs to be your personal satisfaction in keeping to your resolution, not praise or recognition from others.

PUBLIC - tell your friends, your colleagues, your family. Remind yourself. Write your resolution down and stick up where you will see it every day - by your computer, next to your bed, on the fridge, opposite the toilet! Add it to your facebook profile.

POSITIVE - use positive language like my target weight is x stones (not' I want to lose weight'), I will eat fruit for pudding (not 'I won't eat biscuits for pudding').

POSITIVE - (positivity is very important) Choose something that you know will make a positive impact on your life, even in a small way. Teach yourself how fulfilling your resolution is a good thing, not a grudge.

SPECIFIC - (OK, so that one starts with 'S', you do need to be flexible) If you want to become fitter, how fit? How will you know you have reached your goal? If you say you want to earn more money, that is easily achieved by doing one car boot sale. You will let yourself off the hook if your resolution is vague and you can fob yourself off.

PERSPECTIVE - try it on for size, is it realistic and achievable, or are you asking too much? Visualise yourself as you move towards your goal and really see what it will be like to get there, how it will feel, how good you will feel. Does it sound good?

PLANNING - How, where, when and what are you SPECIFICALLY going to to make this happen? Include in your planning your first step and the last step.

PIT STOP - give yourself some stepping stones; a series of small steps is so much easier, and possible, than one huge leap.

PRAISE - Recognise everything you do that gets you closer to your goal. You can use stepping stones to mark your progress and have rewards along the way. (Keep them in proportion - a trip to the cinema when you've done 20 minutes of study is so wrong!)

PERFECTION - expect to 'go off piste' sometimes, go back to your PLAN! Manage your expectations and remember your PLAN and your PIT STOPS.

What will happen if you succeed?

What will happen if you don't?

You probably think this post is about you!

Do you get upset by things people say to you?

Think about a blunt comment made by a friend or colleague which has put your nose out of joint. You are upset because when you think about the comment, you are thinking only about yourself and your circumstances. It is possible however that the other person is actually too interested in themselves to think of ways to deliberately upset you!

It's not an event or a remark that makes you unhappy, It's the way you choose to interpret it. You make yourself upset.

Getting upset by external factors - other people, the weather, the establishment - is a choice made by people who irrationally give their importance to others too much weight. This leaves them stuck in a way of thinking that puts responsibility for their happiness in the hands of others. If this post IS about you, you could be making yourself unhappy.
You may think that not getting upset this lets offensive people off the hook - so let's re-frame. Instead of blaming others for our unhappiness let's get rid of irrational self talk and investigate how we were were able to make ourselves so unhappy about someone else's actions.
Look out for and identitfy trigger issues, notice the feelings you get and the thoughts running through your mind:
- What really made you unhappy?
- What are you telling yourself?
- What questions are you asking yourself?
Now is the time to decide to take a positive step and change it round.

Think now about these questions: How do you feel if...
you don't get an invitation to a party you were hoping for?
- Do you feel that you were deliberated excluded from the party, or do you think that perhaps there were limited numbers?
your report or suggestion isn't accepted without criticism?
- Do you feel despondent that you aren't valued, or do you focus on the parts of your report that were accepted and see an opportunity to improve the rest?
you get splashed by a passing car driving through a puddle?
- Do you feel targetted, or do you assume that some car drivers are careless?
it rains when you were planning a BBQ?
- Do you say, "The weather always does this to me!", or do you think that the chance of rain is just a part of living in Britain?

Because you don't get a perfect response or outcome does not mean you shouldn't bother or that the world is against you. Look for a positive; surround yourself with people who care about you and share your values. Assume that there is a positive reason behind all behaviour and forgive yourself and others for not being perfect.

The role of peace and hope in happiness

There are so many factors that contribute to happiness, many of which depend upon how you think and act NOW in the present. But this post is about the past and the future.
Can you be happy now if you are haunted by events from the past? If you are traumatised by stressful events from your childhood - or even last month? Or if you have unresolved issues or relationships that impact on your current actions and relationships.
Can you imagine being happy now if you are worried about what will happen in the future? This includes events that you know will happen and you are worried about how you will cope with them, for example, or events that you fear may happen.

Happiness now depends upon being at peace with past - including forgiving yourself and others.
Happiness now depends upon having hope for the future.

Don't shut the skeletons of anger, sadness, fear, guilt, regret and hurt in your emotional closet. The effort of keeping them under lock and key is draining and stressful. Re-frame the negative emotions and events, or work out a way of seeing them from a more positive perspective. The negativity isn't helpful to you now. The negative stuff from the past weighs you down and the negative way you are viewing the future is holding you back. Doing this is not always straightforward so I will address reframing and belief change in future posts.

Negative emotions can always be overrided by positive ones, and here is one way of accessing authentic happiness from your memories. A more involved version of this process is used to permanently remove negative emotions from events. For now, though, let's focus on savouring a happy memory.

Think of a specific happy memory in the past. Close your eyes and imagine yourself floating up above yourself, up above your present self. Imagine all your memories are arranged along a line - like a railway - going into the past in one direction and your future stretched out in the other. Your line could be straight, V-shaped, curved and at any angle. Now, still high above your time line, float back to the memory you have identitfied. Float there as long as like, view the scene through your own eyes, soak up all you could see, hear and feel, enjoy the positive emotions and float back to now along your time line.

You are what you think

We can develop this idea further but essentially your thoughts and the environment you surround yourself with impacts on your emotional wellbeing and energy.
Feeling low? Remind yourself of times you were truely happy, watch a favourite DVD, listen to music with positive associations and great memories.
Numerous studies show that even reading a list positive or negative words affects you. Derron Brown and Richard Wiseman (Quirkology) have both demonstrated this on their TV shows.

"Your persistent thoughts become your reality"

Surround yourself with positive people; reframe negative situations to look for the proverbial silver cloud; listen out for, and challenge, your own negativity. How do you choose to influence your mood and energy levels?

What makes me happy?

What is happiness and how can you become happy?
Is it the absence of want?
Is it contentment?
Doing something you love?
Being absorbed?
Creativity?
People often know what they don't want, they have got to know their problems and dislikes very well but don't know what they do want. With nothing positive to aim for it is all too easy to get stuck in the misery of what is wrong and see happiness as something lost or only for others.

Things I love make me happy
thinking about things I love makes me happy

Sun, sand, waves
Woodland, meadows, birdsong
land art, baking, painting, drawing
camping, dancing, spinning poi
parties, friends, family
learning new things
gratitude, fun, joy, awe and wonder

Walking into happiness

At a happiness talk I experienced 'walk innovation' - a process developed by Adam Shaw, experienced in nursing, Reiki, NLP and more!

The process involves five steps:
Grounding, Breathing, Focus, Gratitude, Being Present

In groups of three we walk and breathe and focus on gratitude - What do you really love?
Observing the other two in my group was great while I focused just on my breathing and getting grounded, questioning someone I didn't know about what made them happy was wonderful.
My 'questioner' discovered that I love nature, beauty, beaches, long hot summers, rolling waves, exhileration, creating things, having friends and family with me, being appreciated, and candy floss.
I got quite excited by candy floss because I was really focused on what I loved about it, it's associations in memories and positive emotions. I surprised myself (another positive emotion!) and left measureably happier and more energetic than when I arrived.

How not to eat cake - new course

Following the successful weight and inch loss achieved in the Autumn course we are running the workshops again,
this time in longer sessions over two Saturday mornings
and in a new venue - use the link below for more details!

How not to eat cake!

I have teamed up with a nutritional therapist to bring you a four week weightloss course with a difference.
With the combined knowledge and tools of nutritional therapy and psychology we can not only tell you what to do to lose weight but also how to do it.

The workshops will be limited to 10 people, in an informal and fun environment while getting some serious work done.

Would you like to lose weight safely and sustainably?
Do you find it difficult to resist sugary or fatty food?

contact me directly or visit the webpage below for more information first.

http://sites.google.com/site/hownot2eatcake/