A week of mini mitzvahs

Monday, I took in a parcel for a neighbour.
Tuesday, I helped a supply teacher with her class
Wednesday, I told my neighbour about the parcel(!), and gave away another money off voucher.
Thursday, I wrote to a head teacher in praise of a group of his pupils and two teachers, I saw at an event outside of school.
Friday, I made brownies and flapjacks to share at a training day - and ran to the shops for supplies.
Today I will walk through the sub zero temperatures to collect a parcel for my daughter from the PO - I'll take my camera in the hope it will be a pretty walk.

New Year Resolutions - Made to be broken?

As a new year approaches our thoughts turn to resolutions - often with dread. There are things about ourselves we don't like and we beat ourselves up over them. We remember so well the promises we made to ourselves in the past; repeatedly breaking the same promises of losing weight, getting fitter and healthier, successful and wealthier.

It's clearly a sign of madness to repeat the same action and expect a different outcome.

Here's my suggestion to you -

Stop using new year resolutions as a way to punish yourself and choose reward yourself instead.

Choose ONE thing and do it well.

Do something NEW.

Here's a list of 'P' words to help you along.

PERSONAL - your resolution should be self motivated, not something you are doing for or because of someone else. (Wii fit thinks I should lose a stone, I think my weight is OK, not perfect but OK!). Likewise, your motivation needs to be your personal satisfaction in keeping to your resolution, not praise or recognition from others.

PUBLIC - tell your friends, your colleagues, your family. Remind yourself. Write your resolution down and stick up where you will see it every day - by your computer, next to your bed, on the fridge, opposite the toilet! Add it to your facebook profile.

POSITIVE - use positive language like my target weight is x stones (not' I want to lose weight'), I will eat fruit for pudding (not 'I won't eat biscuits for pudding').

POSITIVE - (positivity is very important) Choose something that you know will make a positive impact on your life, even in a small way. Teach yourself how fulfilling your resolution is a good thing, not a grudge.

SPECIFIC - (OK, so that one starts with 'S', you do need to be flexible) If you want to become fitter, how fit? How will you know you have reached your goal? If you say you want to earn more money, that is easily achieved by doing one car boot sale. You will let yourself off the hook if your resolution is vague and you can fob yourself off.

PERSPECTIVE - try it on for size, is it realistic and achievable, or are you asking too much? Visualise yourself as you move towards your goal and really see what it will be like to get there, how it will feel, how good you will feel. Does it sound good?

PLANNING - How, where, when and what are you SPECIFICALLY going to to make this happen? Include in your planning your first step and the last step.

PIT STOP - give yourself some stepping stones; a series of small steps is so much easier, and possible, than one huge leap.

PRAISE - Recognise everything you do that gets you closer to your goal. You can use stepping stones to mark your progress and have rewards along the way. (Keep them in proportion - a trip to the cinema when you've done 20 minutes of study is so wrong!)

PERFECTION - expect to 'go off piste' sometimes, go back to your PLAN! Manage your expectations and remember your PLAN and your PIT STOPS.

What will happen if you succeed?

What will happen if you don't?

How to make your children happy! Part 1: Praise

Give your child 100% unconditional positive regard will make them happy
err no!
Constant unmittigated praise is as likely to produce insecure emotionally unhealthy individuals as constant criticism.
Persistant praise makes for a passive child. Why bother when you'll be praised all the time whatever you do or don't do? however well or pooorly you have performed?
Why listen to your parents when you really need praise (or an opinion) when your parent appears to not be capable of making a judgement or holding a valid opinion?
A child cannot learn from failures or successes in that environment.

100% unconditional love warmth and affection - that's another matter...
We all need that! And an environment of positive emotion will produce a secure individual.

Conditional praise, praise that fits the circumstance or achievement, may lead to disappointment sometimes but means your children don't become helpless. They learn their actions have an impact on themselves and others and you, as a parent, have credibility.